11.04.2011

A new outlook

I want to share with you what's been on my heart lately. It isn't any crazy story or something that you will laugh at while reading.. its just what's been constantly on my mind this past week.
So as you all know by now I've been sick. Since coming to South Africa there has been a constant feeling in the back of my mind that I am useless while being here. That feeling rises up whenever I loose my patience with the kids or when the school tells me they don't have any work for me to do for that day. It's been extremely discouraging thinking this way and I've tried so hard not to let my thoughts of "uselessness" surface for too long or even verbalize what I've been feeling. However lying in bed for 2 weeks has only increased this feeling making it a constant thought in my mind. I've had so much thinking time that I've almost convinced myself at one point that I wasn't doing any good and I was just acting like a tourist here. I shortly realized how destructive this thinking was over my life and my situation and how Satan could totally take control of these destructive thoughts and run with them.

I gave my thoughts over to God and asked Him to do something awesome with this "down time" in my life. I just adore how God looks over me in His special and unique way. God reminded me ( like He has to do many times when I get side-tracked) that one of the main reasons I'm living is to bring glory to His name. Also that my main purpose is to get to know God- that's one of the reasons that I am meant to live. He reminded me that even if I did nothing but spend time in His word and get to know Him better this year that that would be one of the greatest things I could do.

I was floored! What a foolish young woman I was to forget that profound truth. God used my sickness to remind me to continue to fall more in love with Him. & by getting to know Him better my year could never be useless. This week has been a blessing- I'm not saying I'm happy that I've been sick but I'm happy that I had the opportunity to spend hours on end just falling in love with my Saviour. Our lives can get so busy, so hectic and I loved the fact that I was bed rest in a foreign country with nothing more to do than read my bible for the day. It's been awesome!

A verse that I've been so consumed with is 1 Corinthians 2: 9

"but just as it is written, things which eye has not seen and ear has not heard, and which have not entered the heart of man, all that God has prepared for those who love Him"

We can't begin to understand the great things that God has for those who love him. Why are we not so excited about this truth!! It goes on to say that we have received the same Spirit that knows God's thoughts. vs 16 goes on to say that

"but we have the mind of Christ"

Un-real. God has such a great plan for each and every one of us and wants to share it with us- but we need to get to know Him and His Spirit in order for us to be used to our full God given potential.

I am stoked to go back to school and see the children again- but I have a new outlook on this year. I am here to serve but I am also here just to fall more in love with Christ.

So yea- that's what has been on my heart!

Maddie

2 comments:

  1. That is just so beautiful Madelaine! It moved me to tears to read this and what a wonderful awareness you have of God's plan for your life and for all of His children. He is always in control and want us to become more like Him...through the good times and the bad.
    You are maturing into a beautiful example of Christ!
    Thanks for blessing your readers with this reminder...
    Joanne from all of my family who have been praying for your health and well-being.

    ...But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
    ~2 Corinthians 12:9

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  2. Maddie,
    Great that you are on the mend. Your time with yourself and God appears to have been good. Doing is good at times but being is also good. God can't hug those kids but you are there for them. Be yourself, be God's rep as you interact. That will be productive. Look at the smiles on the picture, those are heart smiles. The best
    DB from CBC

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