When Nothing Can Satisfy

I am writing this you in such a place of excitement. I am home in 21 days. After 330 some odd days I am coming home. It seems so soon.

The Lord has been so tender with my heart, feelings and emotions these past couple days and I stand in awe of the way He takes care of His children. O how He longs to love us.

I will forever pray for the children I lived with this year and will never forget to pray for them, but as I am transitioning to a new season back in Canada my prayers have been centred around the future; on what's to come. On what is unseen. My heart is so excited and so full of joy to see what God has in store for me.
These past few days I've been comparing South Africa to Canada. I've been rummaging my brain for what will be the most different, what will hurt the most, what will I cry over the most? I've been focusing on the differences over and over again. I have bible verses written in bold already, knowing I need to memorize scripture to speak over me and my Spirit in my transition phase out of Africa.

When I woke up this morning God asked me to look at the similarities. This is something that I haven't spent any time doing at all in my preparation for home. So I started talking out loud ( I usually do this when I am  seriously trying to process something) and just asking God what He wanted me to see. After a list of about ten things that remain the same and me being pretty satisfied with the list, the Spirit asked me to go deeper.

I sat with worship music on and just waited, I was so desperate to hear God's heart. What was I not understanding? Casting Crowns came on and the line of the song says "when nothing can satisfy and the world leaves you high and dry, just come to the well"

I have such a fresh perspective this morning from that song this morning. We all just need Jesus. It's the same need (*biggest similarity) whether I am in South Africa, Canada or anywhere else in the world. No matter where I am, nothing and no one can satisfy me; only Jesus Christ. Nothing. So why do I sometimes keep searching?

I'll be honest with you for a second. In orientation in the States before I flew here the director asked us to write down "why we were really leaving." The reasons we dare not speak out loud or tell anyone else. I wrote them down and sealed the envelope. That envelope appeared in my office last week, ten months later.

 Reading my thoughts on that page, everything started to become clear. I was running. I couldn't take the pointless gossip any more so instead of dealing with it I wanted to run to Africa. I didn't feel that I had found my purpose in Canada, so I ran away. I didn't feel loved so I ran. I felt I was too weak to deal with my past relationships so I ran. God did call me to Africa and He knows what He is doing, but I was running from a lot. My Canadian lifestyle wasn't satisfying me.. it was leaving me high and dry. So I ran.

This morning God gave me such perspective that nothing but Him can satisfy me. I can run to the farthest place on planet earth (South Africa is pretty close?) however the world will still leave me high and dry. There is no where I can go, nothing I can do in this world to fill me up. We were made to be loved. We were created with a desire to know we are loved. I gotta know that someone out there loves me for me, regardless of what I have done, am doing or will do. & that's Jesus.

O how I wish I could share this with you over a latte sitting in a coffee shop. My heart longs to hear your life and to experience what is going on in your heart. Another part of that song says "you can spend your whole life, chasing what's missing..." I would so love to hear what you are chasing. What you are running after to make you feel whole and loved. Maybe we have been running toward the same things, maybe you have just ran to what I've been running too and could encourage me not to go there. Either way, I am still in Africa so me blogging to you will have to do until I can go for coffee with you. But until I can sit across the table from you and hear about your life and what you are going through (good, bad and just ugly.. I wanna hear it all) please know that nothing can satisfy you but Christ. 

& if you know nothing can satisfy you in this world, are you living that way? Ask yourself if you are walking in obedience to your knowledge.  Does what you spend your time, your money, the way you view yourself- are those all rooted in Christ? Jesus asked me these hard questions this morning but I am so thankful He did. He loves me enough to never leave me the same but to continue to make me into a more loving young woman.

Thanks for getting through this blog with me!
Here is the song that I keep referring too:)


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