Giving it all to him

I struggled with many things through out high school while trying to fit in with everyone’s expectations including partying, drinking, and bouncing in and out of unhealthy non-Christian relationships. As I moved into university I was devastated after a bad break up and searching in all the wrong places for love. But I’m not going to talk about how God was working back when I was in high school, but rather what God has been doing and revealing to me just recently in my life.

Worry and stress is a constant battle for me. I’m Type A to the max! I’ve always had a one-year plan, a five-year plan, and a ten-year plan for my life. This was always fine until things would happen in my life that were not a part of my plan I set for myself. Rather than turning to God to try and fix things, I would worry and stress and try to put everything back together on my own. It’s crazy though, that as soon as I fix my eyes on the Lord (what really matters!), He would put everything into place. God knows everything that is going to happen – He has a WAY better one-year plan, five-year plan, and ten-year plan for my life than I could ever come up with! Especially being in school, God has shown me that He wants to take even the tiniest things that are worrying me.

He wants me to give Him my stress about my 3 exams in one week, my essay I haven’t started, my anxiety about my presentation, my uncertainty about a summer job, my worry about money, etc. – He wants all of it. So this has been the verse I turn to almost every day to remind myself of where my focus should be.

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. – Matthew 6:33-34

One other thing that God has been teaching me over the past couple months is to not get wrapped up in my shame. Satan is constantly trying to keep people from God. So as soon as you are actively pursuing Christ and trying to grow closer to Him, Satan is right on your back trying to pull you down. Just a few months ago I started being a youth leader at Elmira Pentecostal Assembly. The more I started helping out, the more I felt that I wasn’t good enough to be in this leadership position. But now I know that was 100 percent Satan. I was talking with a good friend of mine the other day about this and she said that she was struggling with the exact same thing, but that she has “learned that God does not expect perfection but an increasingly obedient heart.” Those words really stuck out to me! 

I want to be obedient to God and follow Him and grow closer to Him! We can’t let the devil trap us in those places of doubt and insecurity, and keep us from doing God’s will. For me, I’ve learned I don’t have to be perfect to be a youth leader or teach people about God! If that was the case, no one could hold those positions. Instead, I’ve learned to confess my sins and imperfections, accept God’s grace, and continue to serve Him!

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. – Hebrews 4:15-16

Love a sister in the faith 

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