fake people and unrealistic expectations

in high school i must admit i had very unrealistic expectations of what my future should and could look like.

i watched shows like the bachelor and gossip girl that showed me this fake messed up version of what "love" looks like. i read cosmo and other magazines that gave me the perfect advice on how to play hard to get and keep the mystery going well securing the guy.

then i would read my bible and try to find verses about dating and how to grow up and at the time i often felt hard pressed to find any verses that could help my predicament. growing up is tough and after believing in "love" from the bachelor and bachelorette it was so hard to find my identity in Christ.

hollywood and the bible tell someone exact opposites of what to do… but i found it hard in my growing up stage to separate the two. here are a few examples: hollywood says put yourself first, the bible says to serve others. hollywood says to repay and get revenge while the bible says to forgive. hollywood says to hate your enemies and the bible goes as far to say to pray for them. i could go on and on…but the main one i've been reflecting on is … hollywood says to be fake, to show no one your weakness, to not be vulnerable and to always act like you have it all together. the bible says that God knows our deepest secrets and loves a humble honest heart.

i know i'm not done "growing up" yet but i've come along way from my playing hard to get in my high school days. i've learnt that the most refreshing thing is meeting someone who is real, honest and isn't playing any sort of game. i've dropped the friends that just want me for a good party and invested in girls who aren't afraid to show weakness because they know God is their strength.

i'm on this pastoral team for the summer and my job consists of hanging out with high schoolers and just investing in their lives [best job in the world right??] i know its not always easy but i want to be real- i so want to be vulnerable and for them to see i'm not some "holy good Christian" but that i'm God's chosen daughter finding her worth in Him alone and not in this world. 

i want to strive to look more like Christ and reflect less of what hollywood says.

i want to be real because i know whose i am and what i'm worth.. not because of anything i've learnt from hollywood but from what the bible tells me i am.. chosen, deeply loved and created for a purpose. 

so where is this all coming from? i've been sick the past few days and in my bed rest i've been re watching some gossip girl episodes on netflix to pass the time. back in high school i loved that show… for the drama, new york city and the fashion… however re watching it again has made me sick. sick realizing how much i fell for all the crap about friendships love and finding my way. it's been pretty neat re watching it and reflecting on how far i've come. God is definately real because He's done such a work on me and in my life defining who i am. 

i'm so blessed/excited/thrilled [insert any other positive adjective here] to be given the opportunity to serve God this summer up at camp and learn more about what it means to be real

to be a woman defined by the bible, not by hollywood


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