4.20.2015

Female Porn


i am writing about this because i believe it is important to talk about and i've struggled with it so much. this post is my personal journey and has no correlation to my job or the church where i work. last, my sweet, incredible, handsome husband has read this blog post and supports and encourages me to publish it. obviously when i share my personal story online to everyone it directly affects him. so know he is super supportive of this!

when i use the word porn in this post, i am not meaning it in the term most people use it as; using sexual subject matter for the purpose of sexual arousal.

i know females struggle with porn. maybe not as much as males do, because they are stimulated differently but watching porn is a female issue too. i know so many young girls and women who are addicted to porn. heck, i even had a boyfriend in high school who told me we should watch porn together to make our relationship stronger. he encouraged me to watch it so i tried it, hoping it would help. yes, it is an issue for women too, but thats not what i'm blogging about today.

one of the things watching porn does is that it creates unrealistic expectations. porn portrays things that are not real and makes the viewer believe it is normal and real. it fuels a false reality.

but is porn the only thing that creates unrealistic expectations in relationships?

i believe that males are more stimulated by viewing things than us females and i believe that females are stimulated more by words and emotions [this isn't a be all end all statement, but it has been so true in my life].

i think us females need to be careful what unrealistic expectations we are putting on relationships. maybe we aren't addicted to porn in the normal use of the word, but are we addicted to our romance novels or bachelor shows which paint a false expectation of how our future husbands should act, treat us and preform?


in middle school and high school i loved watching gossip girl and bachelor/bachelorette. i read all of nicholas sparks novels and watched so many romantic comedies. not fully knowing it, i was addicted to the idea that my future husband would serve all my needs in the way it happens in the movies. i believed that it was me who needed to be happy, even if that meant cheating on my boyfriend/husband because it happened in the movies and they lived happily ever after right? doesn't the bachelor kiss twenty girls at once and tell them he loves them? doesn't he take them on the most expensive romantic dates and flies her around the world. this is not real life. this is female porn. unrealistic expecations.


when mark and i first start dating when i was in grade ten, i had no idea how to live out a Christ centred relationship. i adore my parents and saw the way they loved and treated each other, and there were other Godly couples i could look up to, but the majority of the time my mind was filled with tv shows, novels, movies and cosmopolitan magazine which all my girlfriends read. it taught me how to play hard to get, to take a guy on an emotional roller coaster and so many detrimental things. i truly thought guys wanted me to flirt with other guys to make them jealous and want me more. it sounds stupid typing it now but thats what i watched every monday night.


lets just clear the air and say that watching a tv show or reading a romance novel isn't a sin. i am not saying that. but i am saying be careful what you are filling your mind with. the bible is pretty clear on this. "finally brethren, whatever is true, what is honourable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things" - philippians 4:8. i was dwelling on other things giving me a false expectation and ultimately making me addicted to this type of false "love."



maybe this is too bold to say… but mark is not an attractive husband in the worlds definition of what a relationship should be. one [of the many] reasons i broke up with mark so much is he wasn't filling my need or definition of what i thought a relationship should be like. shouldn't it be like a taylor swift song?
thats the way i loved you song by taylor swift

 why wasn't this happening with mark? 

so i got bored of mark. he wanted trust, communication, honesty and for me to constantly be growing and maturing in my faith. i had read and watched too much female porn and i wanted him to bring me flowers each week and not make me change [cuz obviously that is wrong right? ahha].i wanted a worldly relationship with little commitment and lots of fun!! fun at a cost.

so i searched for it in others and trust me i found it. that roller coaster rush [in the t.swift song] that mark didn't give me…. yeah it left me empty and broken. everything that is not of Christ leaves us empty and broken. you were created by a perfect God who loves you and wants to fill you with His love. anything but His love will leave you empty. 


this is my personal journey i've been on. i cut out the female porn in my life and started reading my bible to get Godly expectations of what relationships should be. i am proud to say i haven't even picked up a cosmo magazine since first year of university. its not worth it to me because it can be so addicting. 

ladies, when your eyes our fixed on the world, Godly men won't be that attractive. they won't want to go to parties with you and fill your every need. but when your eyes are fixed on Christ, those God-fearing men will be the hottest things around. i realized that i don't want fake fun and i don't want mark to fill my needs, i want God too. & Godly men point you towards God- they push you to never stop growing in your faith, and you can do the same for them! its the best thing ever.

are you addicted to porn? 

i sure was and honestly can still struggle with unrealistic expectations of what a relationship should look like because we live in this world.

i see so many beautiful stunning ladies [Christian ladies] addicted to this kind of porn of having such unfair, unrealistic expectations on their boyfriends/husbands and it breaks me.

ladies, lets strive to love and treat our boyfriends/future boyfriends/husbands like Christ. we expect our boyfriends/husbands to not watch porn and get false ideas of how we should look, dress and act when it comes to sex - lets be fair back to them when it comes to our relationship.

thanks for reading this massive blog post. its been on my heart for such a long time.

if you need prayer ever or just want to continue this conversation please contact me. i'd love that.

if you are struggling with porn [either definition] and are ashamed of it, don't be- i've been there [on both definitions of the word] and would love to talk to you about it. lets get our sin out in the open, repent and move on from it (work towards it- i know its a struggle). we've got kingdom work to do! there is no need to live in shame. Christ died for our porn addictions so that we can be free.

heres my email: madeline_hockley@hotmail.com


thanks for reading.
xo
mads









44 comments:

  1. Did you ever struggle with masturbation as a Christian? How did you overcome it if so?

    ReplyDelete
  2. email me! madeline_hockley@hotmail.com
    would love to answer this question and connect:)

    ReplyDelete
  3. I found that site very usefull and this survey is very cirious, I ' ve never seen a blog that demand a survey for this actions, very curious... adult chat

    ReplyDelete
  4. I think this is one of the most significant information for me. And i’m glad reading your article. But should remark on some general things, The web site style is perfect, the articles is really great : D. Good job, cheers เย็ดหีเด็ก

    ReplyDelete
  5. Great survey, I'm sure you're getting a great response. anal videos

    ReplyDelete
  6. Wow! Such an amazing and helpful post this is. I really really love it. It's so good and so awesome. I am just amazed. I hope that you continue to do your work like this in the future also JAV

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hot Escorts in Karachi Give Best Escorts Service in Karachi and Provide Best Chance for clients to best Escorts in karachi, call girls in karachi Much More.
    Escorts in karachi
    Karachi Escorts
    Call Girls in Karachi
    Karachi Call Girls
    Escorts in Lahore
    Lahore Escorts

    ReplyDelete
  8. Truly, this article is really one of the very best in the history of articles. I am a antique ’Article’ collector and I sometimes read some new articles if I find them interesting. And I found this one pretty fascinating and it should go into my collection. Very good work! xxx

    ReplyDelete
  9. I have checked this link this is really important for the people to get benefit from. jav xxx

    ReplyDelete
  10. I appreciate everything you have added to my knowledge base.Admiring the time and effort you put into your blog and detailed information you offer.Thanks. http://16honeysporn.com/

    ReplyDelete
  11. Great survey, I'm sure you're getting a great response. best xxx hd download

    ReplyDelete
  12.  A popular name in the porn industry. Everyone wants to know about Mia Khalifa. Here we have shared some important information about Mia Khalifa actress. Mia khalifa

    ReplyDelete
  13. Before you rush out to find your BDSM lifestyle partner, it is important to note that as always in dating, it is the ladies who get to pick and choose who their preferred partner is. For this reason, the male Doms or subs are required bdsm sites

    ReplyDelete
  14. Great post, and great website. Thanks for the information! randki-Gdansk

    ReplyDelete
  15. In the end I just took the plunge and joined Adult Friend Finder. I expected everyone who was hot in my area to vanish once I had paid my membership. how to find a girl for threesome

    ReplyDelete
  16. This is my first visit to your web journal! We are a group of volunteers and new activities in the same specialty. Website gave us helpful data to work. Anal Porn

    ReplyDelete
  17. Took me time to read all the comments, but I really enjoyed the article. It proved to be Very helpful to me and I am sure to all the commenters here! It’s always nice when you can not only be informed, but also entertained! cuckold sites

    ReplyDelete
  18. I found so many interesting stuff in your blog especially its discussion. From the tons of comments on your articles, I guess I am not the only one having all the enjoyment here! keep up the good work... webcambabes

    ReplyDelete
  19. VIP Call Girls in Pakistan provide Escorts in Islamabad, Escorts in Lahore and VIP Islamabad Escorts. Whatsapp Us at 03001494000 for Escorts in Pakistan
    VIP girls in Islamabad
    Islamabad escorts
    Escorts in Islamabad
    Call girls in Pakistan
    Pakistan escorts
    Escorts in Pakistan
    Escorts in Lahore
    Lahore escorts

    ReplyDelete
  20. Besides traditional and innovative medical intervention, a number of people are seeking out the health-enhancing benefits of yoga to benefit conception. couple looking for threesome

    ReplyDelete
  21. Great! It sounds good. Thanks for sharing.. Tempted Tiffany

    ReplyDelete
  22. I am very enjoyed for this blog. Its an informative topic. It help me very much to solve some problems. Its opportunity are so fantastic and working style so speedy. Acompanhantes RJ

    ReplyDelete
  23. I never got any reaction from him, he was likely not set up to dispose of his virtual work area sweetheart. couples looking for males

    ReplyDelete
  24. Great things you’ve always shared with us. Just keep writing this kind of posts.The time which was wasted in traveling for tuition now it can be used for studies.Thanks נערות ליווי

    ReplyDelete
  25. This is very educational content and written well for a change. It's nice to see that some people still understand how to write a quality post.! VRHump

    ReplyDelete
  26. Great news!!!You're in the right place for fetish toy. By now you already know that, whatever you are looking for, you're sure to find it on fetish toys

    ReplyDelete
  27. Wow, What a Excellent post. I really found this to much informatics. It is what i was searching for.I would like to suggest you that please keep sharing such type of info.Thanks www.vrporngalaxy.com

    ReplyDelete
  28. Wow i can say that this is another great article as expected of this blog.Bookmarked this site.. נערות ליווי

    ReplyDelete
  29. This is my first visit to your web journal! We are a group of volunteers and new activities in the same specialty. Website gave us helpful data to work. faperoni.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  30. Positive site, where did u come up with the information on this posting? I'm pleased I discovered it though, ill be checking back soon to find out what additional posts you include. pornvids.se

    ReplyDelete
  31. Great things you’ve always shared with us. Just keep writing this kind of posts.The time which was wasted in traveling for tuition now it can be used for studies.Thanks pornvids.fi

    ReplyDelete
  32. Thanks for taking the time to discuss that, I feel strongly about this and so really like getting to know more on this kind of field. Do you mind updating your blog post with additional insight? It should be really useful for all of us. fr.faperoni.com

    ReplyDelete
  33. Positive site, where did u come up with the information on this posting?I have read a few of the articles on your website now, and I really like your style. Thanks a million and please keep up the effective work. republicasex

    ReplyDelete
  34. I am happy to find this post very useful for me, as it contains lot of information. I always prefer to read the quality content and this thing I found in you post. Thanks for sharing. Faperoni

    ReplyDelete
  35. He will accept each open door to make the young lady he prefers snicker since he needs to see her grin and be nearer to her. escort girls in Florence

    ReplyDelete
  36. Thanks for a wonderful share. Your article has proved your hard work and experience you have got in this field. Brilliant .i love it reading. escorts bucharest

    ReplyDelete
  37. For bi couples or unicorn hunter, searching a unicorn (polyamorous woman) is very very hard on web, making some romantic unicorn dating are more and more impossible, they hardly find a unicorn or with those traditional methods especially bisexual couple looking for women. find local unicorns

    ReplyDelete
  38. I was looking at some of your posts on this website and I conceive this web site is really instructive! Keep putting up.. STACY CRUZ

    ReplyDelete
  39. About thirty thousand craigslist MW4M websites recording are made every month, according to google statistics. couple seeking men

    ReplyDelete
  40. I am very enjoyed for this blog. Its an informative topic. It help me very much to solve some problems. Its opportunity are so fantastic and working style so speedy. teen besorgt es sich selbst

    ReplyDelete
  41. Nice post! This is a very nice blog that I will definitively come back to more times this year! Thanks for informative post. warszawa

    ReplyDelete
  42. Too much porn is bad but a little bit will give you pleasure. Oma will ficken.

    ReplyDelete


 photo copyright.jpg
envye template.