11.10.2015

First Trimester

11 weeks


so this is so exciting. I've jotted down thoughts and spoken so many of my feelings out loud to Mark but to put them on this blog in this space is so exciting. I actually get to blog about my pregnancy now!

You must know that I adore so many blogs and many [cough cough* most] are of mothers. I love reading every story and how they process motherhood. I especially look forward to reading their pregnancy thoughts and stories, they are wonderful. But now, now I have the freedom to write my own and that is the best! I can't wait to look back at these posts and read them with my kiddos:)

so first trimester.

it sucked. a lot. 

I've always dreamed of being a mom and wanted to be a mom. In my "trying to fit in with the world days" I wanted a career working for the United Nations in my heels saving the world living downtown nyc, but since those days are long long over I've loved motherhood and wanted this so badly one day. I would pretend to be pregnant, try to produce a baby bump after eating too much and casually look at babies clothes and shops- just so I could be prepared. Pregnancy is so beautiful and I wanted to be ready when my turn came. I had this idea that the entire 9 months would be so blissful. Sure, mothers got sick, but really when you are creating a baby inside you it's just way to exciting!… what a wake up call I had.

the pregnancy test read positive late August and we were overjoyed. A baby! After months of praying the Lord has given us a miracle and we are pregnant! That time was the best. Telling our parents and siblings right away (4 weeks) was the best… then it went downhill.

I haven't had an awful pregnancy by any means. But I haven't been myself. So tired, throwing up, throat burning, dizziness and the worst part about first trimester is that I wasn't able to tell people!!! I was so tired one night and not myself and I knew everyone would understand if I told them but I couldn't and had to fake it. That sucked a lot.  I knew that I needed to eat something small every 2 hours or else I'd probably throw up, but then I am still working at a restaurant where I am around food for 4-5 hours without a break… I knew if I just told them they would understand and I could eat some crackers but I couldn't.

At one point around 9 weeks I said to Mark "I am never doing this again. This is so awful." I was so unproductive due to my tiredness and there was a lot of pressure and stuff I was working through with our jobs. So much for wanting 4 kids I thought… if I can make it through 2 pregnancies that will be amazing.

15 weeks
The first 1/3 of this pregnancy was rough. I wish more of my blogger friends told me that so I didn't have such an unrealistic expectation. But it passes, the weeks went by slowly and I was under a lot of stress but they passed and we made it through.

I am 15 weeks and into my second trimester. We have told the world, I have a baby bump and am able to make it through a full day without a nap. Right now, I am loving pregnancy. Last night I was jumping around the room doing a happy dance because I adore our baby so much. I am so in love with this child it's crazy. I want to meet him/her so so badly.

But first trimester, that was rough. I'm so thankful to have gotten through it and when so little people knew my husband and family were amazing. Their support is unreal.




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