3.08.2016

Third Trimester



Hurray!! Third trimester. Seriously though, I am cheering!! Pregnancy is long. Like so long. Have I mentioned that before? 

I've learnt some good lessons out of it and know I will continue too, but honestly Lord, you didn't want to make pregnancy 6 months instead of 9? I am so excited to meet my baby and so want to this next chapter of life to start. But I know that once baby is born I'm going to miss these nights alone in silence and all the free time I have. I know that these next two months are going to be the last that Mark and I have together just to two of us. I am trying to be present each day but it is a struggle when the next season ahead is so exciting.

Here are some more third trimester thoughts:

1. I am super needy
I'm not sure if it is the hormones raging in my body or the uncomfortable sleep that I have nightly but I am pretty needy. I prided myself on being independent and secure in myself but through this pregnancy and especially the third trimester I have become increasingly needy...mostly for my husbands love and attention. Trust me, you can ask him... it's been different. I like going to bed at the same time and hate when he leaves me.... did I mention that we work together every day? Yup, and I'm still needy - poor Mark!

2. My baby boy is so active and I love it
In my ultrasound and last midwife appointment both of them had trouble getting readings and photos because he is such a little mover. In my last ultrasound to see if my placenta had moved so I can have a natural birth [btw, it did- hurray!] my boy was sticking his tongue in and out and moving his hands and body everywhere. Even as I am typing this my stomach is moving from side to side. I love it. I love how active he is. It allows me to know he is okay and I love talking to him and asking him what he is doing. Hopefully, this means a quick labour if he can just keep moving right out of me... let's hope!

3. Pelvic pain
I am not on bed rest, I have a low risk pregnancy and not much to complain about so please don't think I'm feeling sorry for myself, but my pelvic pain has been rough. It now hurts to walk anywhere and with this nice weather all I want to do is go for a walk but even the thought of that is painful. Stairs hurt and moving or getting out of bed takes a good thirty seconds every time. It amazes me how I thought I was going to work out until the baby was born.. hahaha! I can't even bend over. Mark had to dress me a couple days ago because putting on socks sent pain all throughout my body. These last two months are going to be rough and I am not looking forward to the pain.

4. Self Esteem
Let's just be honest. I love being pregnant. I am one of those woman who love the big belly. Sometimes I even wish it was a bit bigger. But we all know you gain weight while pregnant and regardless of whether its for the good of the baby I still am gaining weight. I've struggled with self esteem this trimester especially. I took time to work out and keep my body healthy and was happy with the way I looked. Now, I've been wearing make up because my face is so fat and I feel so ugly. My wedding rings don't fit my fingers anymore because of the weight gain and I have stretch marks all over my body. It's so worth it to have a baby, but that doesn't mean it hasn't been tough watching my body change drastically. There hasn't been any tears yet, just a few sappy moments, and comments asking Mark if he still thinks I'm pretty [fyi: his answer has always been yes]. But I am going to keep wearing make up, even though I normally wouldn't because I feel ugly and fat and uncomfortable in my own skin some days. Just being honest.

5. I'm so in love
Seriously, I can't explain it. There are no words how much I love my baby boy already. I talk to him constantly [in that weird high pitched voice already] and pray over his sweet little life. I love him so much and I want to meet him so badly. I want to start life with him already. I want to experience raising a child. As scary as it is to be entrusted with someones life I am beyond excited to share this experience with Mark in raising him. He will be the best dad without a doubt. I am such an impatient person and I so want to meet him now because I love him so much!

I'm 32 weeks and who knows how many I have to go! 6? 8? 10? 
I can't wait to meet you baby and can't wait to share photos of him with you all! I am giving myself pep talks already to not be "that mom" who overshares. Guys, I'll try real hard! 

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